Divorce is twice, then retention with honor or setting free with beautiful doing. This is a recommendation to spread out the divorce so that they will not hurry to complete sepa- ration.19 Spreading out the divorce is recommended because the reality of separation is reprehen- sible. Although divorce is permitted in the Shariah, God hates it, for it is the cause of separating and of cutting the ties of familiarity and union. God's Messenger said, “The most hateful of per- mitted things to me is divorce.” The exalted Qur'an praises people who do not cut bonds and do not seek for separation. It says, “Those who join what God has commanded to be joined and fear their Lord” [13:21]. In the Highest Dominion, He created angels who are half snow and half fire. Through His own power He brought these two opposites together and kept them that way. Their glorification is this: “Glory be to Him who makes fire familiar with snow! O Lord, make the hearts of your faithful servants familiar with each other!” A pir of the Sufis said, “I was walking in the desert. I saw a person I did not recognize, water standing before him, and plants growing from the water. I asked him who he was and he said that he was Abū Murra [the Father of Bitterness].20 I asked him what the water was. He said, 'It is my tears, and these green things and plants are growing up from my tears.' I asked him why he was weeping. He said, 'I weep in the days of separation for the days of union. In the days of separation the murmur of union is the ease of the hearts of the deprived. Leave me to weep for myself, for there is no one in the world more miserable than I.'” I said, “My heart wants to be Your comrade, so I will be worthy of thanks and applause.” By God, I did not think, O Spirit of the world, that all my hopes would come to this. Ḥasan ibn ʿAlī had a wife whom he divorced. Her dower was 40,000 dirhams, so he sent it to her so that her heart would be happy. She put that wealth in front her and began to weep: “'Paltry goods from a departed lover!' What use to me are the goods of the world when my companion is not at my side and my friend is tired of me!” When a viper strikes someone's liver they give him the antidote, not candy.
